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The Grinch Who Wants to Change the Channel on the Best Holiday Food Ads

It’s more than likely that “Grinch” isn’t the only colorful descriptor being applied to federal bureaucrats this holiday season.  It may be the most fitting, however, considering “voluntary” guidelines offered this year by the Interagency Working Group on Food Marketed to Children (IWG).  If approved, these guidelines would severely restrict which foods can be advertised to children ages 2 through 11, all but guaranteeing that tofu ads are about as merry as the daytime airwaves will get a few years from now.

The Bernard Center for Women, Politics & Public Policy, a non-partisan think tank that has closely tracked this debate, compiled the following list of the 10 best holiday commercials we’ve grown to love that would get considerably less airtime if these guidelines are implemented. The Bernard Center also provides tongue-in-cheek commentary of the IWG’s possible reaction in viewing each commercial.

Disclaimer: The Bernard Center is not endorsing any of the foods on this list as “healthy” for children.  Rather, we advocate a smarter government approach to the childhood obesity debate that encourages public-private partnerships, such as First Lady Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign, to promote nutrition and exercise education and address the growing problem of food deserts (a lack of access to healthy foods in the poorest regions of the country).  The rationale behind the IWG guidelines – that by denying children and adults alike of iconic holiday commercials, childhood obesity rates will be curbed – is a classic case of senseless government overreach.

#10: Nabisco’s “Oreo Christmas”

Suggested replacement jingle: “Who’s that kid with the … flax seed cookies?”

#9: Santa Claus “Got Milk?”

Don’t even think about serving Santa anything but skim!

#8: Rice Crispies “Christmas”

“Your childhood is calling” … and it wants metabolism back!

#7: 7-Up “Is the Feeling of Christmas”

Sure, if you like feeling bloated from sugary carbonation.

#6: Honey Nut Cheerios original “Scrooge”

Scrooge could be just as happy without the honey and a portion-controlled package of nuts, right?

#5: Pillsbury Dough Boy Comes “Home”

Pillsbury products make dough boys and girls.

#4: Talking M&M’s Meet Santa

Santa probably fainted after he crashed from his sugar high.

#3: Hershey Kisses Handbell Choir

Outrage! A serving size of Hershey kisses if 9 pieces, but there are 11 pieces in this handbell choir!

#2: Coca Cola Polar Bears

“Life tastes good” … but not if you’re too heavy to float like the polar bears.

#1:Campbell’s Snowman “Let it Snow”

“Never underestimate the power of soup” … or its sodium content.

The Bernard Center for Women, Politics & Public Policy is a research and educational institution—a think tank— whose mission is to fundamentally change the terms of the nation’s most critical domestic and foreign policy debates and challenge the American public, policymakers, and the media to discuss those issues in order to promote, advance, and support individual rights, free markets, comprehensive education reform and parental choice, personal responsibility, self-reliance, and smart government as the keys to achieving the American dream; Improve the socioeconomic status of women, the poor, and ethnic and religious minorities; and expand the effective participation of women, the poor, and ethnic and religious minorities in the political and public policy arenas.

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